3 Reasons Why Conflict Is Great For You
Written by Heartsong Live on 25th August 2020
As a child, I was a fan of wrestling and loved watching the WWF.
These days, I hear WWF is the acronym for World Wide Fund for Nature. But in the 80s and early 90s WWF was the acronym for World Wrestling Federation which is now called the World Wrestling Entertainment Inc (WWE) (doesn’t have the same ring to it in my very humble opinion, but hey…that’s just me)
As for the wrestlers, my favs were Hulk Hogan (probably everyone’s favourite back then too) and Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart (just googled him actually and couldn’t believe the brown hair he wore past shoulder-length is now all white!)
I wouldn’t call myself a fan these days as I haven’t followed the sport in years. I think the end for me came when it finally sunk into my 12 yr old naive brain that it was all just an act. I was heart-broken!
About now, you’re probably wondering what the point of this trip down memory lane is. There IS a point I promise!
If you are or were ever a fan, you’ll agree with me that the point of watching wrestling matches was seeing your favourite wrestler beat the living daylights out of his opponent. We derived pleasure in watching two (or more) grown men fight like beasts!
But what if you were one of the wrestlers? I bet you wouldn’t be having as much fun (Ok, aside from all the money you’ll be making!) as those of us watching. You’ll have to be super focused, double up on courage, prepare to be hurt and yes, fight like your life depended on it- ‘cause in that world? It kinda does.
I see conflict like a wrestling match.
Two (or more people) on opposing sides of the table (or ring). Two or more sides to the same story- sometimes with conflicting accounts. All parties trying to gain the upper hand usually while trying to pull the other party(ies) down. Most- if not all- get hurt, one way or the other, at varying degrees.
Wait! I think I just described war…
Bottom line, conflict isn’t fun- just like war. Just ask persecuted Christians in countries like China or the husband and wife who just don’t see eye to eye on anything anymore.
Living in peace is way better.
“Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody.” Romans 12:18
The first time I read that scripture, my cowardly people-pleasing, confrontation-avoiding self was relieved. I didn’t have to face opposition! I could go on smiling if I was hurt, nodding my head to viewpoints I didn’t agree with and compromise, compromise, compromise…
I thought embracing peace meant avoiding conflict.
It doesn’t.
Of course, if you- like the devil- are a quintessential trouble maker whose modus operandi is seeking who to devour at every given opportunity, then maybe this piece isn’t for you.
But if you’re that person whose mouth gets dry and hands shake when he knows he has to say something that would mean disagreeing with another person’s viewpoint, this is exactly for you.
Conflict could actually be a really good thing.
Now I know that sounds counter-intuitive, considering we are called to be a people of peace. Well, that’s the whole point of this post- to share with you why conflict could actually be a good thing.
It’s in the hope that you’ll embrace conflict instead of run from it as most of us are naturally prone to doing.
Conflict could actually result in peace- genuine peace
There’s nothing more grating than pretending you’re at peace with someone and then walking on eggshells around the person to prevent ‘rocking the boat’.
Fact is, the boat is actually likely to capsize all together because you tried to bury the problem instead of dealing with it. Peace that isn’t genuine isn’t actual peace- it’s a train-wreck waiting to happen.
Not all storms (conflicts) come to disrupt your life, Some come to clear your path
Clarity is a powerful thing. Just like doctors analyse symptoms to diagnose a condition, it sometimes takes analysing the friction (symptom) to get to the root cause of a problem.
Conflict can cause you-and your relationship- to grow
Trust me, conflict makes you learn new things about yourself you probably won’t like- like a hurt you thought you’d overcome or how jealous you can be.
I find discovering something new about myself fascinating and ironically, that new self-understanding tends to come in the midst of conflict. Your relationship grows too because conflict helps you understand another person’s perspective. How? Turns out, conflict tends to cause people to be a lot more honest and open. It’s like having a window you get to peep through to see a person’s true character.
Trust me, I know it’s easier said than done. Some conflicts are so painful they just lead to disaster, especially where the parties involved are not willing to arrive at a resolution (yep, that’s how wars start).
I’m not asking you to go around town picking fights with friends and family. What I’m saying is you need to know that conflict isn’t all bad. So don’t run from it. Find the lesson(s), even the really disastrous ones came to teach…and learn.
Jacinthsv On 25th August 2020 at 9:48 pm
This was really interesting to read and actually think about it in a different way. Thank you for this article.