I Got Pregnant- Olu Bethel

Talking will save your life. 

There is something lifesaving about opening your mouth to let out the voices in your head. I know this, having had to deal with abuse that ranged from sexual, to physical and even verbal; there just is this need to get out of your headspace for a minute, and talking gives you that. It gives your inner feelings wings, sending them into the air and leaving you pleasantly deflated. It is the only antidepressant I know that you cannot OD on.

So know when to talk, and talk when you need to. There is always somebody to listen to everybody, all we need is to recognize them when they come, so we know not to keep the junk in, because no amount of sadness or guilt can change the past, and no amount of anger can make the present problem disappear; you’d just be working yourself into a bundle of messed up knots.

Sometimes all we just need is to find an outlet, drop that hose, and let the waste out. Be it an online community, straight up counselling, some people swear their pastors listen; whoever does it for you, go for it. Open your mouth. God sends you strangers sometimes too, and it’d be someone who would listen without judgement. When you find them, hold nothing back. Keep nothing in. My doctor is a huge part of my healing, although he was a stranger to me the first time I met him, but he was willing to listen, and I to talk. I had a need, he was the supply the Lord sent, and I wasn’t about to allow my pride get in my way of a good offloading; know when the Lord meets your need, and utilize it with thanks.

I have found a listening ear in many strangers over the years too. Chief among them is Gisela, a stranger with whom I’d bonded in a random rage-against-the-man moment on my blog. Interestingly, she believes I was a supply the Lord sent her, to listen to her. We still argue about who does more for whom, Gisela and I; we’re a perfect Will Stacks and Annie example. But that’s how life works. You just never know what form your angel would take, how they would come, or where you would find them. Reach out.

 One thing that stands out clearly in my mind is how visibly lighter I felt everytime I talked to my doctor, and eventually, my counsellor; with every conversation, my chest opened up more and light took over that place where I once felt a dark pressure—the space my child now occupies.

Lord knows what the story would be today if that space had still been taken up with guilt, low self worth, bitterness or anger by the time my son came. Where would his love live then with all that junk clogging the space? Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of people. Talking, holding nothing back was how I was able to start to gain some sort of clarity. Closure wasn’t that swift of course, but it became possible.

 All because I opened my mouth…

I Got Pregnant is Available on Amazon Kindle and Here