This ONE Habit Will Deepen Your Relationship With God

I attended boarding school for half of my secondary school education.

There were definitely some good moments. But all in all, I can’t say I loved it. I preferred being a ‘day student’ (as those few students who came and went from school daily were called). 

For one, as a day student, you weren’t forced to eat the near-poisonous horror people called food from the dining hall. Or sleep in dormitories which to me looked like prison cells. 

But the one thing I hated the most, had to be the lack of privacy. Sharing a dorm room with at least 20 other girls on bunk beds separated only by our individual brown wooden ‘lockers’ which held all our precious possessions- was not my cup of tea. 

Our only claim to personal space was your ‘corner’ which was simply the area just beside your bed, usually where your locker lived

The lack of privacy meant you got front-row seats to all your dorm mates personal routines and peculiarities-  and vice-versa. From those who spoke in their sleep (like me) to those who sprinkled water on their beds at night in the hope that it would keep them cool in the warmer months

The one that irked me the most was this particular morning routine most of the girls in my dorm had. The “wake-up” bell rang at exactly 5.30am every morning. Those girls were up about 15 minutes before then and would dedicate another 10 or so minutes after, for what they called “Quiet time”. This was a time these girls intentionally dedicated to spending with God. They’d pray, sing songs and read their bibles. 

You see, in my secondary school a LOT of the girls identified as born-again Christians. For me, that was an identity I took up waaayy after secondary school. So this early morning activity- with all the murmurings, muffled sighs and singing-  got on my right nerve!

Now years later, with secondary school becoming nothing but a distant memory, I find it rather ironic that the memory of this one activity is one I cherish most from that period of my life, even though I didn’t participate in it. Why? Because now, a full-fledged born-again Christian, that simple activity has saved my hide- and my relationship with God- more times, than I can count. I owe whatever intimacy I have built with the Father to this one activity

The Quiet time

Times have changed. We earthlings- Christians and non-Christians alike- have gotten more sophisticated with our dealings and doings but the beauty, as well as benefits of the Quiet Time, hasn’t changed. We may call it different things (‘spending time with God’ for instance), do it differently and spend a varying amount of time but the Quiet Time remains special and one of the best ways I know to deepen your relationship with God

Here are a few facts about the Quiet Time

• It is personal: Just between you and the Father and no, your spouse or kids can’t join in. Church time is great. So are all your little group gatherings. But this time is between Father and child; bride and Groom; the Shepherd and that one sheep

• It is private: Remember all those times the bible records of Jesus leaving the multitude to go spend time alone to pray? Yep, that’s the picture

• It is unique: …to you. How do you relate to God? Or better still, how does he relate to you? This is where those two concepts meet like two secret lovers in a hidden cove

• It is intimate: Think of the two lovers scenario I just painted above…need I say more?

Why you should have a ‘quiet time’?

• You want to grow in your Christian walk, right? You should. We all should. The Quiet time is where you “delight yourself IN the Lord” (psalm 37:4) and where you drink the “sincere milk of the word so that by it you may grow up” (1 Peter 2:2). You get to know who God is…even though there’s really no end to knowing God

• It changes you: You’ve probably noticed I love imageries. Here’s another one for you and it’s just one word: Moses. Think of that one time he spent up the mountain with God (culminating in the production of the 10 commandments). His face shined so bright from spending time with God, the people of Israel could hardly look at him! (Exodus 34:29)

• You become more sensitive to His leading. …and never have to be led astray (John 10:5) Show me the person who couldn’t do with a little more guidance in their lives?

Now comes my favourite part: The How- AKA how do you do “Quiet time”?

The short answer is: Any how you feel led to

Remember this isn’t some sort of transaction: Pay 2 prayers and get yourself a pat on the back from God!

This is a relationship- between two beings who love each other- you and God

By now, you’ve probably figured out that It’s not so different from two people in a relationship. In fact, I believe the marriage relationship is meant to be a constant reminder of the relationship we ought to have to God

So taking that cue, in your Quiet Time, there’ll probably be some: 

• Talking AND listening. 

• Just listening (I strongly believe this is where the phrase ‘quiet time’ came from).

• Praise (accolades) and worship (love notes) aptly expressed through music and singing

• Learning about the object of your love (studying scripture) and swirling His words over and over again in your mind (meditating on scripture). 

The preceding practices have from time, been the tenets of the Quiet Time. More recently though, you hear of activities like ‘psalm writing’ and ‘prayer walking’ both which I personally recommend. 

Look, what you do during the time doesn’t matter as much as ACTUALLY setting aside time

That brings us to our last point: how MUCH time?

Again, there isn’t one right answer. However, Quality ALWAYS trumps quantity. But remember:  sometimes you can’t have quality without quantity. Nevertheless, the target is quality always.

 Do you have only 5 minutes? Great! Make it count. Can you set aside 1 hour? Awesome! Make it the best 1 hour of your life- for you AND God. Do you find you have less time on some days and more on other days? Or perhaps you have little pockets of time scattered across the day? No sweat! Make the most of all of it. If Muslims can find 5 times in a day to pray, we can do it too!

I can’t speak more highly of this life-changing habit. While at the time, I was happy to be rid of those 14-16-year-old girls from my secondary school dorm, I know now that they were certainly on to something, possibly unbeknownst even to them. 

Do you have a version of the Quiet Time you practice frequently? Let’s know in the comments!