“WE LIVE WHAT WE SPEAK OUT”: HOW TO FIND YOUR VOICE
Written by Praise Afolabi on 7th May 2025
Have you ever felt like your voice doesn’t count, like it was either too much or not enough? Maybe you’ve struggled with the idea that you are too vocal, too passionate, or not qualified to speak.
Where do you draw the line between confidently sharing your strengths and feeling overdoing it?
Sometimes, the fear of being too much makes you go silent altogether. You pull back, not because you don’t have something to say, but because you’re unsure if it’s welcome or even worthy.
The award-winning speaker, educator and poet, Peju the Spark Abuchi, shares a deeply personal journey. One of reclaiming and embracing her voice.
Her audiobook, “A Poetic Odyssey of Proclamations”, has been a powerful tool for many, helping them reshape their self-talk and reconnect with the spark within.
WHEN SPEAKING UP FELT RISKY
For the Nigerian-born speaker, coach and poet, Peju the Spark Abuchi, was groomed in a loving home. She was constantly reminded of how important her voice was. But there were times when it felt like her voice didn’t count, especially in the professional space.
Stifled by a culture that threatened her freedom of expression, she became so afraid to be original.
I thought, “If I want to keep my job, maybe I just need to blend in, stay quiet, and not rock the boat.”
“And in doing so, I started to feel like I was losing not just my voice, but my sense of self.”
Soon, Survival meant suppressing who she was. So he chose to leave the job.
THE CHAMPION MINDSET
Are you in a place where your worth is being overlooked, where you’re constantly micromanaged or made to feel like you have nothing to offer, though you know you have something to offer?
Maybe it’s time to embrace the “champion mindset”.
There comes a point where you’re faced with a decision to either stay or tough it out, believing that enduring is the mark of strength. In some situations, true strength, “the champion’s mindset,” is found in choosing to walk away.
“The winning is in the leaving. And it’s leaving with its head held high.”
WHY PEOPLE SPEAK NEGATIVELY ABOUT THEMSELVES WITH THEIR “VOICE”
Environment Shapes Self-Talk: Many people grow up in environments that don’t affirm or celebrate their uniqueness, which can deeply influence how they see and speak about themselves.
Lack of Affirming Voices: A common factor among those struggling with negative self-talk is the absence of people who genuinely champion their inner worth. Affirming words are about changing your language before you expect external validation.
Negativity Can Be Inherited, Not Chosen: For many, self-doubt and harsh inner dialogue are patterns learned from the voices and attitudes around them, not reflections of their true value.
The journey to discovery requires patience. What are you feeding your mind with?
Change Is Possible Through Intentional Relationships: Healing begins when you start surrounding yourself with people who speak life, those who uplift, encourage, and reflect a healthier image of who you are.
FINAL LESSONS FROM PEJU THE SPARK ABUCHI
In conclusion, the journey of voice discovery requires patience. What are you feeding your heart and mind daily? Who are you listening to? What are you allowing into your space? These inputs form the foundation of your voice.
Peju reminds us that the Creator values you, and that’s the most important validation of all. So if you feel invisible or unsure, start doing the internal work. Speak life, be patient with yourself, and remember: finding your voice is not something to hurry, it’s something to honour.
You were never meant to live buried under silence or borrowed beliefs. If this article stirred something in you, don’t let it fade. Start by taking one bold step: reclaim your voice.
Share your story. Reflect out loud. Journal your truth. Surround yourself with voices that lift, not limit. And if you’re ready to rewrite your self-talk, let this be your turning point. Your voice matters. Start using it like it does.
ABOUT HER BOOK: “A Poetic Odyssey of Proclamations”
When asked about the inspiration behind “A Poetic Odyssey of Proclamations”, Peju the Spark Abuchi admits that it was born from the magical moment of pain, not clarity.
As an educator, she frequently encountered young people caught in a cycle of negative self-talk phrases like “I can’t do it” or “I’m so stupid,” which were sadly common. At the same time, in her personal and professional circles, she heard similar defeatist language from women she mentored, coached, or did life with: “I’m not good enough,” “My marriage is falling apart,” or “I’m just depressed.”
Witnessing this pattern over and over again, Peju had a powerful realisation: circumstances might not change overnight, but the way we speak about them can begin to shift our mindset. That insight became the foundation of her audiobook. A resource designed to help people transform their inner dialogue and begin speaking life over themselves.
As she so clearly puts it, “We live out what we speak out.”
NOW IT’S YOUR TURN
If you had the opportunity to share something, one truth, one story, one moment from your journey, what would it be?
This is your invitation to speak up.
Not perfectly. Not loudly. Just honestly.
Send us an e-mail, share your story with us or share with those who need to read this: Your voice has power. Use it.
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This interview originally featured on Arise with Eloho via HeartSongLive Radio.
