I’m not a big fan of parties

Even weddings which I love, I lean towards attending only the actual ceremony and skipping the reception party, if I can. 

 But the times I’m arm-twisted to go either by a family member, friend or obligation, I look forward to just one thing

No, not the mind-blowing conversation ( I could certainly do without that one) but the buffet. That means I’m not a fan of the whole steward-comes-with-plate-of-food scenario unless it was in response to my order from a menu. And we both know that hardly happens in parties. 

After all, you never know if your friend’s spouse would suddenly think your party was an all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant and proceed to suck you dry for what you’re worth. Have you noticed that never happens when they are paying for their own meals? Well, go figure!

So what is it about the buffet I like so much (OK, aside from the fact that I’m a foodie)? It’s the fact that I get to choose. I choose what type of food I want, what combination I want and what quantity I want. No questions asked!

Sometimes, especially when I feel I’ve been particularly naughty, I’d go for veggies. Yes, that included the darling broccoli

Other times, I throw care to the wind and go hard on the Oreos

But I get to decide. I get to choose

Not so with life experiences, mostly, right? Yes, we plan and strategize and project. But more often than we’d probably like, we get not just a spanner but the whole toolbox thrown in the works. It doesn’t just rain, it pours over your parade

In all fairness, It’s usually a mix. Some of what you want and some of what you’d rather not have: a successful career mixed with a failed relationship; raising amazing children mixed with financial struggles; doing amazing humanitarian work that impacts thousands mixed with the death of a loved one…

But what if I told you this ‘mixed bag’ of life experiences (even if it may not seem that way) have the potential to cause you to grow- if you let it. It all comes down to how we respond

You may not have complete control over what ends up on your plate (what life throws your way) but you have control over how you choose to respond, especially when you have the most powerful Ally there is (no, not your rich Aunt- God!)

You respond right, you grow. It may not be as easy as it sounds but it really is that simple

What does responding right even mean? It means not allowing the present circumstance cause you to derail from your goals underpinned by the principles and values you live by. 

The experience may cause you to tweak or even completely change plans or strategy but the vision and the foundational ‘why’ never changes. THAT is taking control and not allowing circumstances control you

And your best chance at responding right? Agreed, you have to be prepared to roll with the punches knowing it’s just for a season 

But more importantly, you have to know that you CAN choose. 

For a while now, I’ve been fascinated with the story of Viktor Frankl and his book ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’. How does a man, faced with what (in my opinion) is the worst form of human suffering ( Frankl was a for Jewish prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp where all but one of his family members perished), find meaning or higher purpose of life? 

How does he find and hold on to hope? Frankl was adamant that his Nazi captors could have control over his body but they could not take away his freedom to choose his response

Incredible, right?

Well, this is why I didn’t just want to tell you that in the face of the rather-not-go-through-that experiences, pray, study scriptures and worship God. Because though you should do these things (as they sure will strengthen you), you need to get your mind right first:

Accept that you don’t have complete control over what life throws at you but you have God who will never give you more than you can bear

Decide to view the less than perfect experiences as opportunities to grow

Recognise your superpower:  your freedom to choose. Use it!

When you have that sorted, what you do next comes easy. See how this is captured in this quote from ‘Grace for the Moment’ – a kids’ devotional by Max Lucado

“Most days have a little bit of everything in them. A little good, a little bad. A little mad, sad and glad. Get yourself ready for those days with a plate of God’s food- a little prayer, a little study, a little praise- and you’ll be ready to face the world”